Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Back to school

I'm pretty sure I'm the only parent that dreads back to school. We are now over a week in to the new school year in my area and the struggle has already begun. Usually as summer comes to an end, parents are cheering. They no longer have to deal with fighting siblings all day, everyday, no longer have to plan and transport to various summer activities. Don't get me wrong, I know we all love the time and memories we get to create with our kids, but lets face it, school is six hours a day where we don't have to pull fighting siblings off each other, clean up messes and entertain. School can mean a little break. Not for me!

My kids are 15 and 12, ( my oldest 19, is on her own now) they are very independent and kinda tend to stick to them selves. I rarely have to deal with them fighting. They easily help with chores when asked. I'm pretty blessed. Until school starts that is. See my kids deal with low immune systems, they get sick very easily, they suffer from migraine headaches and the area we live in, I'm pretty sure is the worst possible city for pressure changes. This causes frequent migraines. My 15 year old also deals with severe social anxiety. So school for me means, fights and arguments to get them out the door. Tears and yes screaming. Constant calls home from school because one or both have a migraine, are not feeling well or whatever. It mean constant visits to the doctor, just to be told "let's wait and see". My 15 year old has been chronically ill since last December.

So school started last week, week one went great for my 12 year old. For my 15 year old the anxiety kicked in hard, but she made it through. Week 2, Monday my 15 year old had a sever migraine, complete with vomiting. Tuesday was a fight and a few threats to get her to school. My 12 year old son, crawled into the car Tuesday after school, in tears because of his head. He came home and laid down with his migraine. Both didn't eat much dinner. Now today Wednesday, my son still isn't feeling well, he begged to stay home. So right now, he's back in bed trying to get rid of the nasty headache he's plagued with. My daughter doesn't start school until after noon, we have gotten accommodated programming to try to help her succeed in school past her anxiety and illnesses. So I'm not sure if today will be a fight with her. 

So this will go on the entire school year, we will have specialists from the schools get involved to try and make education easier and a priority for them. I will stress for the next 10 months. I deal with more tears than either kid should have. I will worry what will become of them as they grow, how will they hold a job, will they learn to fight through the illness or migraines as I am doing right now. Will they be productive members of society?

As you can see, school doesn't bring a break for me, it brings added stress and frustration. As parents we all have our "things" we have to deal with, work through and manage. This is mine and although I feel like I'm failing 90% of the time, I look at my 19 year old (who also dealt with health issues as a kid) and see her as a successful and hard working young woman. Yes she moved away to a climate that is better for her health. This makes me hopeful that the other two will get through this as well. It also makes me sad that I genetically predisposed my kids to all my health ailments. Hopefully they won't become severe.

So to other parents that struggle, I feel your pain. It doesn't matter if it's autism, ADD, any other medical or mental disorder that adds to your struggle. Know you're not alone. To those of you that don't have to deal with any of this, that have happy, healthy kids that love school, remember that other people have other struggles. Teach your child to be compassionate of those that miss lots, don't judge because you have no clue what their struggles are. Mostly, please befriend these kids. It's hard to make and maintain friendships when away ill and they need to feel wanted, it may help them heal.


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