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Wednesday, July 18, 2018

The good, the bad and the ugly cry

We all have them, good days, bad days and ugly cry days. It's healthy to have them, but don't dwell on the less than perfect days. Take them and learn from them. I have never been the healthiest person, but I tried to be the best I could on the good days. It wasn't until this past fall when I became seriously chronically ill and no one really knew what was the matter that I kinda just gave up. I spent about eight months in bed and at doctor offices. No clear answers. This happens to more people than we realize. Now the important moment is ones life is the realization that bad days don't define us. It doesn't matter if it's from physical illness, mental illness, being overwhelmed in life or anything else. What matters is how we handle it.

I'm one of the lucky ones, I have a very supportive family. They encouraged me to get back into writing when I could no longer hold down a job outside of the home. My mother, husband and children all wanted me to be happy and productive. The thing that I didn't realize then, that I do know is that if I push myself, I become more productive, and I'm happier. This leads to more good days than bad days. I still have bad days, today as I write this I am having one. Dealing with lots of pain, a headache and emotional stress. Yes I even had a little ugly cry. To pull myself out I decided to push through and write. We need to recognize when we need a break and when we need to push through.

This was the same when my kids were little. Not a single one of my three kids liked to sleep through the night. I like to joke that between pregnancy, babies and toddlers, I didn't sleep for twelve years. Truth is, that was no joke. If you're a parent, you understand how hard it can be to care for a colicky baby off an hours rest. Yes at times I wanted to run away. Actually one time I did. My husband had just got home and I left, without saying a thing. I walked around the block for about 90 minutes. I calmed myself and returned to my responsibilities. Several years later my now adult daughter has told me how that affected her. I didn't mean to hurt my children, we never do. As a mom, as a human we all need to escape sometimes. I've now learned that I can get the same escape by taking time to myself and doing something I love.

So next time you are having a bad day, an ugly cry or the urge to run away. I'd like to remind you that you aren't alone and that you deserve that mini melt down. It will get better and the good days will return. Find what helps you have more good days, remember to see the good in your life, the smile on your kids face, the encouragement from your loved ones. Everyday I try to remind myself of all the things I have to be grateful for. Today, I'm grateful to have the ability and courage to write it down and share it with you.

I hope you are having a good day and please feel free to share what you're grateful for in the comments.


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Kindness Matters

So often these days I see the changes in humanity. When I was growing up, we would always offer our seat on the bus to an elderly, an expectant mother, even mother with a young child. I rarely see this done anymore. It's so much more than that though. With a heavy online presence taking over, people can hide behind their keyboards and attack others. It seems so many people are out for their own agenda and don't so much care who they roll over to get to it.

Today while my husband and I were out, we saw a tire in the middle of the road. It was too far for us to get, but my husband said " I wonder if anyone will get that?" A moment later we saw a man get out of his vehicle and begin to roll the tire to the rightful owner. This isn't something we see frequently anymore and it saddens me. A video I saw yesterday, showed a man losing his shit on a woman for wearing a Puerto Rico shirt, the police did nothing and the man was right up in her face. Like since when can we treat people this way because they are proud of their heritage? She was a citizen, she had the proper permit to be where she was, who cares what she was wearing?

Another thing that is common lately is anonymous comments online. This is where the trolls come out. I've seen it for years. It used to be common with teens throwing hate to each other, but now I see it with adults. My question is, what are we teaching our children by showing so much hatred to others? Why do we as adults have to be so consumed with other peoples lives? Can't we just be nice to one another, and if you don't like someone...stop following them on social media. It seems pretty simple to me. I don't look at someones facebook and then start complaining that they bought a new truck or decided to have another baby. I don't criticize them for every little choice they make. Why? Because it doesn't affect my life. The lady across the street having a baby, is not my concern. I congratulate her and move on. Do I want to have another child, nope...3 is enough for me. Did I have them all at the perfect time, HELL NO. Did I raise smart, polite, caring , independent young adults? You bet I did! I will save my bragging for another post.

My point is that kindness matters, so often people complain about how entitled kids are today, how they have zero respect. Well guess what, we are the ones teaching this to our kids. So the next time you see an elderly person trekking through the snow with their cane, stop your car offer to help them, maybe give them a ride. When you see a child fall off their bike, stop and make sure they are okay. A lady at the store who is a dollar short for her bill, well pay it forward and give her a hand. Most of all stop hiding behind the computer screen tearing others apart. You never know when you might need someone's kindness, so do your best to be the kindest person you can be. Most of all remember kindness is contagious. Spread love not hate and the world we become a better place.

 XOXO, Charlotte

The good, the bad and the ugly cry

We all have them, good days, bad days and ugly cry days. It's healthy to have them, but don't dwell on the less than perfect days. T...