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Wednesday, August 8, 2018

A little piece of happiness

Throughout our lives we go through many ups and downs. We experience nearly every emotion and strive to find true happiness. But what do true happiness mean? I believe it's little pieces of life that bring you joy and in turn give us happiness. Things that make us happy change over time. As a child a prized toy, a friend to play with, a day at the park, praise from a teacher or loved one can all bring happiness. As an adult our needs and expectations change. We want a good job, money in the bank, a nice home to live in, and what ever else we think will make our life happy.

Lately I have been reflecting on what makes me happy, I have a few good friends that I love and appreciate, my mother who is my best friend, I have an amazing husband that loves me through all my flaws, I have three amazing child that yes can drive me batty but also make me proud to be their mom. The list can go on and on some little things some big things and could be completely different than what someone else may need to make them happy.

Everyday it's important to wake up and be grateful for the things we have, take a moment and think about it. Don't think about anything else, put your problems aside and be truly grateful for what is good in your life. I've been doing this more lately and what I've noticed is I'm happier! I don't dwell on things that make me unhappy or stressed, I've always maintained that stress doesn't solve anything, action does. So if we are unhappy, we need to change things. Finding the little things is the best place to start.

This week my youngest turned 12, it's the last year before all my children are either teens or adults. I have taken them and the memories with them for granted. I'm watching as my eldest turns into the most amazing woman I know, my middle child is making plans for her future and rediscovering her passion for art. Shes also teaching herself new things like the guitar, which I heard her playing tonight. Then my little one, he is the most caring person ever. He is mama's boy and so many times I was to busy or preoccupied to enjoy his hugs. I'm sure they will stop soon, but for now I have found a new happiness in his cuddles.

Today I had a friend send me a quote, she said it made her think of me the minute she saw it. Reading it made me remember that I'm worthy, I make a difference, I love and am loved. Although my life has it's ups and downs, I know that this is my happiness. Knowing that I have all this in my life. I encourage each one of you reading this, take a moment and think of what you're grateful for at this moment. Find a little piece of happiness no matter what is happening in your life.

The quote my friend sent me
Many blessings to you all. I think you are all amazing.
xoxo
Charlotte

Friday, August 3, 2018

Parenting - How did I get it right?

When thinking about becoming a parent, we think about many things, including but not limited to,  what it means, how our life will change, how we were raised and how we want to raise our kids. When I decided to have kids I knew there were a few things I wanted to do differently.

I was raised in a very traditional sense, mom stayed at home until i was in school (the last of 3 kids). Dad worked hard and was strict. We had to have manners and show respect to our elders, we had chores and once mom started working, we had to help with things like cooking dinner. We were loved, but not spoiled, we had rules to follow and we were spanked if we disobeyed or misbehaved. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, I wasn't allowed to wear make-up until my mom thought it was appropriate. My parents didn't include us kids in decisions, they didn't talk about finances around us and we did as we were told without talking back. I had a great childhood with lots of fantastic memories and I think my parents did a pretty good job, because I like to think I'm a decent human, not perfect but pretty decent. Thanks mom for making me a caring, somewhat responsible and giving adult. 

When I had children I didn't want a bunch of rules. Why? because I was a little shit that broke almost every rule I was given. I rebelled and my mom is still learning about some of the crap I pulled as a teen. I wanted to remove to rebelling option from my kids. I wanted them to know about our financial struggles, so maybe they wouldn't make the same mistakes. I wanted to tell my kids about all the BS I pulled as a teen. After all I was once their age and remember what they feel and think. So I have a 100% full disclosure policy with my children. I am completely honest with them. 

Now as a parent, we never know if we are doing it right. We do what we think is the best and hope it turns out. Once my oldest daughter came to me, she was about 14 at the time. She told me she really wanted to try sneaking out, because her friends were doing it and it sounded fun. She then proceeded to tell me how there was no point because I'd let her go anyways and that removed the fun from it. (I removed the option to rebel like I did as a teen). I took this as a score. Another time she asked to go to a bush party. I said sure, I'll drop you off, but wear runners because when the cops come they will charge whoever they can catch, so make sure you're not the last one there. She decided against going.. Another score in my books. Situations like this went on through-out her teen years. Her friends would call me if they were in compromising situations, I'd go pick them up, no questions asked and take them home. Other parents knew the kids felt comfortable with me, and trusted that I would help take care of them if they didn't feel comfortable going to their own parents. It takes a village! 

Fast forward to today, 2018. I have a 19 year old daughter living on her own in another Country, in one of the party capitals of the world, Las Vegas. She also went to school by herself for a year at 15 in New York. I also have a 15 year old, who suffers from sever anxiety and fights it every day to go to school and dance. She's a beautiful soul and likes to insist she was switched at birth and not related to our crazy family. Then there's my little man, he's 12 next week. He loves computers and is way under-active for his age, but is the most caring loving kid a parent could ask for.

Grand Canyon Easter 2018

Are my kids perfect? oh hell no! Am I proud of each one of them? Hell yes! As parents we do what we think is best for our kids, for me it was being honest and hoping they could learn from my mistakes, trust me enough to come to me with anything, be respectful of others and be productive members of society. Now my son is still young, and my one daughter is a typical teen. My oldest is killing it at life though and I like to think that this is because of how I raised her. I ask myself everyday how I got it so right with her and hope it turns out just as good with the other two. Jorden is 19, living on her own, she bought a car, took driving lessons, rented an apartment, working full time and doing other odd jobs, she just got a promotion at work, is attending collage and traveling the world. All of this on her own dime. I couldn't be more proud. Shawnee wants to follow in her big sister's footsteps, and Lucas is even saying the same at his young age. I love that they look up to and admire each other.

Now of course every parent thinks their kid is the cats ass, but I'm going to introduce you to my eldest and let you form your own opinion. Jorden started a blog a few months ago. She is amazingly insightful and far more talented at blogging than I am. So please go check it out, leave her a comment and send some encouragement for a young girl doing her best at life. Just click HERE.

Most of all remember as a parent you do the best you can, we all do what we think is best and what works for one, might not work for the next. So if you were looking for advice, all I can give is to tell you to give love, receive love, do what you think is best and lock the bathroom door so  you can have a moment to breath.

XOXO
Charlotte

A little piece of happiness

Throughout our lives we go through many ups and downs. We experience nearly every emotion and strive to find true happiness. But what do tru...