Monday, September 3, 2018

Body Shaming, Don't judge a person on their cover

Me at 18 as a model. 
This week there has been a lot of body shaming going on. Some people say it's not just about being obese, it's about health. Well let me lead you down my story. I was a hundred pounds, soaking wet, I was a model, I even did a swimsuit shoot just months after having my first child. Flash forward a few years. I was in nursing school, I was constantly told that I was too thin. I did't try to be thin, I didn't work out, I ate what I wanted and just lived life. Less than a year later, I had my second child. I was up to a hundred and sixty pounds. I walked my eldest to and from school everyday. I was a very active mother. I couldn't lose the weight if my life depended on it. I sat around this weight for many years. Even after my third child, I didn't gain or lose.

Now a little more history, I was sixteen when I started losing my hair. I tried everything to stop it, doctors said it was "just" female pattern baldness and there was nothing I could do. This was a huge blow to my confidence. I had to learn different ways to style my hair, ways to cover it up. By the time I was thirty, I had my three children and had now gain sixty pounds. I almost always live in hats, for years I wore wigs, but don't like them. I continuously beat myself up. I'm extremely shy, I lack any kind of self confidence and consistently beat myself up over my appearance.

Now I'm over 40 years old, my weight yo-yo's between one-sixty and one-eighty, it's even gone close to one-ninety-five. My hair is so thin, I can't do much at all anymore. My husband and I always joke that we will go bald together instead of grow old together. I don't feel comfortable in any clothes, I don't feel pretty, like ever. I beat myself up more than anyone else could. I've tried to work out and eat healthy, it doesn't help. Yes I get toned, but my size stays the same. So as I sit here and write this, I want you to think about what others go through without your mean and hurtful words about their appearance. 

Me a few years ago, with my wig 
I recently found out I have an auto-immune disease. The specialist believes this is the cause for some of my aliments, such as my hair loss. It also has lots to do with my weight as there are long periods of time I'm bed ridden. My point to this is you never know what someone else is going through. Stop judging others on appearance and start judging on their heart and what they do for others.

The past few years a "plus" size model has taken the world by storm, Ashley Graham. God I love this woman. She has done talks about body positive and just being true to you as a young, strong woman. Her lessons to young woman is what we all need to hear. This is a true example of inside outside beauty. Her confidence is something I wish I could have a fraction of. Bless her for being a role model to all of us. Can we all take a lesson from her.

This week I saw an article where a "curvy" woman was told her husband is too hot for her.
My son and I, blonde hair to cover how thin it is
Seriously?? Now it's not just good enough that she is beautiful in his eyes (and she is gorgeous), that they love each other and are happy. Why because society says they both need to fit into a certain mold. This is more than a little outrageous.

Cosmo featured a larger woman on the cover and people all over are shaming her. Okay here is my tip, if you don't like it, don't buy that issue, don't look at it. She is beautiful to someone. She is confident and gives people like me just a little more confidence. She encourages young people to love themselves. We don't know if she has a medical condition causing her weight like me. People assume that if you are over weight that all you do is eat chips, pop and take out. And yeah sometimes it's true, but what business is it of yours? How about we start judging people by who they are and not how they look. body shaming can go both ways but, I think it's time to learn to accept people for who there are instead of how they look, what they wear or anything other than their personalities.

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